HOW TO MARKET A NEW CAMERA - A 10 POINT PLAN

HOW TO MARKET A NEW CAMERA - A 10 POINT PLAN

1. Target enthusiasts. Professionals are too picky and ask too many questions. They also want time to assess just how good it is. That's not what is wanted, you want pre orders, no questions asked.

2. Make sure your marketing department get plenty of technobabble written. It always helps to invent some complex phrase / description / name for something simple. That way you get to explain it in copious detail. Don't forget that your (mainly male of a certain age) market are "If it's got more knobs it's better!" enthusiasts and they just love telling all their friends "Yes my camera has Inter Dimensional Instinctive Oversampling Technology or IDIOT for short".

3. Make sure you get your tame blogs, websites, "reviewers" to get on the case ASAP to talk up the camera. Make sure they all make favourable comparisons in terms of your rivals. A good healthy slagging off of the competition always goes down well. 

4. You don't need to actually deliver any cameras for months. You just need those pre-orders and to make sure that while your customers (fanboys) are waiting, they don't go off and buy something that you didn't make. It also leaves a nice long gap between announcing the new gear and the people who buy it noticing all the flaws. By then you'll have started shipping those pre-orders, so who cares. Anyway you can fix it in firmware later.

5. Get your troll army on the move. Make sure they get on all the forums and say how wonderful your new product is. Don't forget to make sure your guys are rubbishing anything that might be competitive at the same time. 

6. Get your CEO to be interviewed on Dpreview. So he can talk about future developments. Make sure that he talks about 'Listening to our customers and giving them what they want.' By customers of course, he means the marketing department. 

7. Your new camera has to have more of everything. More pixels, more menu options, more technology, more compatibility with smartphones, more video. Now the last one is seriously important. make sure you get lot's of 'Professional' features for the video. Make it look like you can shoot a Hollywood movie on your mirrorless marvel. You can't, but the majority of your audience are going to shoot their cats and their ugly children in their gardens, so it won't matter anyway.

8. Ignore women. Apart from some shots of sexy models. Women don't buy cameras apart from the odd 'soccer mom' who is going ask their husband what to get anyway. And of course he will recommend the one with the most knobs, buttons and menu options. 

9. Make sure you have an upmarket expensive launch day, preferably somewhere exotic where you fly the usual hacks out to some sunny location and ply them with food and alcohol and let them photograph some sexy models so that they feel they are jet-setting fashion photographers. Of course you have to make sure that they can't publish anything they take since you don't want them showing just how ordinary the results are.

10. Make sure you assemble of group of 'pro's' and call them 'Ambassadors' 'Professional Advisors' 'Partners' or some other bogus description that makes them seem important. You can easily get loads of them by offering free cameras and a few foreign junkets. By professional here of course we mean professional web marketers who have their own YouTube channel that zillions of people watch. Don't worry if they can't take a decent image to save their lives, you can always get a real pro to do that.

So there you have it, 10 things to make sure you have a successful camera launch. Because these days you need it. Thanks to all the BS you and your competitors have delivered over the years, people are buying less cameras and shooting on their smartphones instead.  Buy hey, there are still enough suckers out there to swallow all the hyperbole to keep you guys on the top floors in the style of living to which you have become accustomed. So get the product designed, get a few 'pre-production' models for your sycophants to play with, get your press releases ready and start building up that pre-announcement hype. You can always do what you've always done and make sure a few 'leaks' appear on the right rumour sites. After all this is what the camera business is all about. Lies, Damn Lies and Camera Specifications.