The Canon 5Ds

So it's arrived. Canons brutal, big, heavy, ruthlessly efficient 50MP resolution DSLR monster. The camera that will have mirrorless fans searching the dictionary for words that convey 'pointless dinosaur' and get pixel peeping macho wanabees seriously hot and bothered. 

It's an unapologetic 'big boy' that sneers at smartphones, mocks m4/3 and makes you feel like a wimp if you even contemplate anything less. It's a big camera for big photographers who like making big pictures. It might as well have F**k You on the top of it instead of Canon and with this in your hands no-one (and I mean NO-ONE) will ever question your photographic competence.

Men will move out of your way when you raise it to your eye wailing 'We're not worthy, we're not worthy' Women will swoon and small boys will look on with envy when you walk past them with this over your shoulder, with mothers covering the eyes of their young daughters. Ferraris are for lottery winners, this is an object of desire for real men who care nothing about social media, Strictly Come Dancing or anything involving cake. This is a camera for photographing stampeding herds of wilderbeeste, twisters and Yeti. They don't make printers big enough for the images this camera produces and it'll make your feeble out of date PC processer roll on it's back and kick it's legs in the air just opening a file.

This camera smokes cigars, drinks whiskey and eats rare steak and wouldn't even acknowledge that it has a feminine side, let alone 'explore' it. And if you can't carry it you probably don't deserve to buy it. And if you can't handle the speed, the no compromise performance and above all the pixel count that puts many medium format cameras to shame then maybe you should take up quilt making or go to Yoga with the wife.

Because this is a camera for real men and real photographers and not for those wusses who want to hide their camera in their pocket and when they finally whip it out hold it in front of their face like some long lost aunt at a wedding. This is a serious camera for serious photographers, it rocks and I absolutely, unequivocally love it.